Gotta Knock a Little Harder
by Marron-chan1
Summary: Sanzo's being stubborn, as usual. Rated for language only. 39


So, this is my second Saiyuki fic, in the same spirit as my other one 'Rain.' It's set to 'Gotta Knock a Little Harder' from Cowboy Bebop. Also, note that there is a difference between double quotations and single ones. Lastly, a huge thank you and hug to my beta, mehagian. She's the only reason why I finished this. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to review!

Gotta Knock a Little Harder  
by Marron-chan1

For once, it's quiet. It's about damn time.

It has actually been quiet for some time now, which is amazing in its own way. I sit and read my paper by the open window, while the cold air from outside lazily streams past me. I look up every once in a while, watching the snow silently fall outside. It's nice because the snow seems to diminish all the other sources of sound. I think I like the snow.

_Happiness is just a word to me  
And it might have meant a thing or two  
If I'd known the difference_

It's almost perfect. Almost. It would be if I didn't think about the fact that I have to go back out on the road with those three idiots tomorrow. I just want to get this mission over with as soon as possible so I can get a good night's sleep for once. Maybe I can pawn Goku off on Hakkai and Gojyo after all this. It wouldn't surprise me if Hakkai would want to adopt a child anyway. Goku is high maintenance enough to use up most of his mothering energy. It might be nice without Goku for awhile, though, I'm not sure if it was really much better before he barged into my life. Somehow, I don't think it was considering how much of it I have buried away in the back of my head.

_Emptiness, a lonely parody  
And my life, another smokin' gun  
A sign of my indifference_

I must have had a total lapse in judgment when I finally found the source of that annoying voice in my head. It was as if coming across Goku was completely normal and it was natural to bring him back to the temple with me. Only afterwards did I realize how much of a mistake that was. Why am I even thinking about this? It's not as if I can change anything at this moment. I need to just keep reading the paper instead of staring at the same god damn sentence.

_Always keepin' safe inside  
Where no one ever had a chance  
To penetrate a break in_

A soft knock at the door accompanied by an equally soft, but determined, voice breaks my attention away from what I am reading. "Sanzo, are you coming downstairs to eat dinner with us?"

"No," I tell Hakkai flatly. I can go down and eat something after they have finished. That way I don't have to deal with their usual antics.

"You need to eat something." Does he ever stop being a damn mother to everyone?

"I said no."

"Fine. Do as you please."

_Let me tell you some have tried  
But I would slam the door so tight  
That they could never get in_

After a short time, there's more knocking, louder than before. "Come play cards with us, Sanzo. We need four people."

This is starting to annoy me. I need a cigarette. "Can't you damn people just leave me alone?"

"But Sanzo-sama, we would be honored if you would grace us with your presence!"

I grab my gun and immediately shoot through the door, just above where Gojyo's head should be. I can hear profuse swearing from a startled kappa.

"Damn bastard… didn't have to make his point so drastically. Ahh! You got some of my hair, you jackass!" He punches the door, enough that I can see my side splinter a bit, and then stomps back down the hall. I smirk to myself, thinking how easy it is to get rid of him sometimes and how much fun it is to do so. I hope I clipped one of his antennae.

_Kept my cool under a lock and key  
And I never shed a tear  
Another sign of my condition_

Do they really have to keep bothering me? I have to put up with their crap all day, why should I have to keep doing so at night? They are all so stubborn and loud and annoying. I have the right to be as stubborn or annoying as I want too. It's payback for everything that I am forced to go through each day. Those bastards have no idea how hard it is for me not to just shoot them where they stand. They're lucky I have so much control.

_Fear of love or bitter vanity  
That kept me on the run  
The main events of my confession_

"Sanzo?" Shit. I lean my head back and focus on the ceiling, trying to control my rising anger. I can't even bring myself to answer him.

"Sanzo, I know you're not asleep," he tells me, as if it's going to change my mind.

"Go away."

"I just wanted you to-"

"Did you not understand me? I said go away," I say in a low, threatening voice.

There's nothing else from him and it is quiet again.

_I kept a chain upon my door  
That would shake the shame of Cain  
Into a blind submission_

There's no way in hell that I'm letting that noisy brat in here, not when there's the potential that I could still have a few more hours of peace and quiet before going to sleep. There's no reason why he should need to come in here. It can wait until tomorrow morning, when my patience has had a chance to restore itself.

_The burning ghost without a name  
Was still calling all the same  
But I just wouldn't listen_

'Sanzo…' I suppose that I should have expected this. Stupid brat won't let me alone. I clench my eyes shut, trying to block out his voice from my mind. Of course, it doesn't work though.

_The longer I'd stall  
The further I'd crawl  
The further I'd crawl  
The harder I'd fall  
I was crawlin' into the fire_

'Sanzo…' Damn, he's so loud. He must be outside the door still. Why can't he just understand that I want to be alone? I realize that he's probably being whiney because it's snowing outside, but he should be able to deal with it by himself at this point, like the rest of us do.

_The more that I saw  
The further I'd fall  
The further I'd fall  
The lower I'd crawl  
I kept fallin' into the fire  
Into the fire  
Into the fire_

'Sanzo… please.' Great, now he's trying to make me feel guilty. That damn brat. He sounds so sad, but I know he has to be faking it, just to make me give in. I wish I could just get into his head and annoy the shit out of him. You can plead as much as you want Goku, but I'm not about to let you through that door.

_Suddenly it occurred to me  
The reason for the run and hide  
Had totaled my existence_

'Sanzo… Please don't go. You need me.' I laugh to myself bitterly. His voice sounded different this time, quieter, and not as forceful as last time. You've got to be kidding me. He thinks that I need him? I don't need anyone. I hope he realizes that once this journey is over, he's not coming back to the temple with me. Get used to the idea of not having me around, Goku, and start now! Go bug Gojyo and Hakkai.

_Everything left on the other side  
Could never be much worse than this  
But could I go the distance_

'Sanzo… Even if you go, I'll find you eventually, no matter how far away you are.' Bastard. Threats aren't going to work on me.

_I faced the door and all my shame  
Tearin' off each piece of chain  
Until they all were broken_

'Sanzo, I didn't mean to do it, really! It was all an accident. Don't leave me…' What the hell is he talking about? Idiot saru. Just give up already and accept that I'm not going to let you in.

_But no matter how I tried  
The other side was locked so tight  
That door it wouldn't open_

'Sanzo, don't go! Please, I want you to stay!' He sounds desperate now, as if he is having some sort of nightmare. The frustrating thing is that I'm sure he doesn't even know he's doing this. Blissfully ignorant and seemingly innocent of the increasingly painful headache that he's giving me. It's the only fact that is saving his ass right now. Otherwise, he'd be dead in a second.

_Gave it all that I got  
And started to knock  
Shouted for someone  
To open the lock  
I just gotta get through the door_

'Sanzo.' I am going to fucking kill you Goku! Listen to me damn it, if you don't shut the hell up, I'm going to leave you in a ditch along the side of the road. Do you realize how damn loud you are! You goddamn saru!

_And the more that I knocked  
The hotter I got  
The hotter I got  
The harder I'd knock  
I just gotta break through the door_

'Sanzo!'

_Gotta knock a little harder_

'Sanzo.'

_Gotta knock a little harder_

'Sanzo….'

_Gotta knock a little harder_

I can't stand it anymore, it's unbearable! Just cut it out already!

_Break through the door_

I quickly open the door and Goku comes tumbling in, landing in a heap at my feet. He must have been resting his back against the door. Idiot.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask, in as harsh a tone as I can manage.

"Heh, sorry Sanzo!" He says as he sits up and rubs the back of his head. "Guess I sat down and fell asleep or something. I'll go back to my room now."

He stands up and hesitates a moment before heading back out into the hall. "Goku."

He turns back around and gives me a confused look.

"You can stay for a little bit." He smiles. "But only because my headache can't get any worse."

Goku happily bounds into the room and settles into one of the chairs. I walk up to where he sits and ruffle his hair, sitting back down in my own chair afterwards and picking back up my more than slightly crumpled newspaper.

Goku immediately begins to chatter away while bouncing in his chair. "Sanzo, Sanzo, Sanzo! Tomorrow, do you think we can go to that really good-looking restaurant we saw as we came into town today?"

"No. I want to get an early start tomorrow."

"But Sanzoooo!"

Gods, what have I gotten myself into? I can't believe I let him win.

End


End file.
